welcome to my body

a few months ago, i noticed a bump on my spine. expecting a new mole, perhaps of the cancerous variety, i checked it out in the mirror, only to find no visible blemish. maybe it was a nasty pimple lying dormant beneath the surface of the skin, waiting to explode. maybe it was a bug bite. i wiped some witch hazel on it. i figured that'd do her.

it didn't go away. in fact, it got a little bigger. then it changed color slightly. then my mom had something on her upper back with an angry white head and a huge, red, inflamed base, and said it was an infected sebaceous cyst. she had to have it surgically removed.

then i panic, because i can't afford surgery, so i text my doctor friend to remove it. "it will probably cost your co-pay, but i can do it. just get a referral." in typical panicking fashion, i wait maybe two or three months before getting in with my general practitioner. i tell them, "i need a referral. can you get me in to the health sciences center, i know a surgeon there."

they write me a referral to the dermatologist who cured my acne all those years ago. "great," i think, "my skin looks like butt, he will think it was a waste." i take off work and knit in the waiting room, fill out some epic paperwork, get in to see the dermatologist. he tells me i have a dermatofibroma, which is when your skin heals from minor trauma, and then kind of overheals itself and forms a bump of tissue. "does it bother you," he asks, while poking and prodding the bump, and i respond "only when sitting in a hard-backed chair, or when it is poked and prodded." he says, "schedule an appointment as soon as you can, i need more time than i have now to do a good job removing it. we will stitch it up, then you will need to come back in two weeks to have your stitches removed."

"um," i say, "i won't be here in two weeks. my health insurance expires in two weeks." he says, "well, you sure waited a long time to get in here. schedule an appointment, and we will do surgery. it will only take 30 minutes."

i lie to the receptionist while paying my $55 "specialist" co-pay, because i needed to pay an inordinate amount of money to hear that there is a bump on my back. "i'll call back and make the appointment." in actuality, my outpatient surgery co-pay is $300. i could buy a macro lens for $355, and then i could have taken a better picture of my new best friend.



back bump is about the size of a pencil eraser and is not worth $300 in medical expenses to remove.